This requires asking “What am I looking for in relationships?” There are so many different answers to this question but ideally, every relationship or connection you are looking for with others is rooted in the needs you have for connectivity and a sense of belonging. The idea that gets you into trouble is when you feel you have to submit someone else’s needs and put yours second. We are here to tell you that this is not the way. Think about what you’re looking for and think “how I am acting to achieve what I want”. If the answer comes back to where you are acting to benefit others, then you're optimizing others' needs and not your own and this can cause a gap in developing a true emotional connection. If you answer yourself, you are doing it because you want to and because the person you’re engaging with offers you what you need. This means you have just built an emotional connection with yourself and will come out and being more open to an emotional connection with that person and potentially others in the future.