Isolation

As you enter the new relationship, you quickly realize that there are red flags. What you find is that the more drama you have in the relationship, the more you want to fight for it. It becomes impossible to disconnect and you make yourself available to your relationship at all costs. You begin to isolate yourself from people who you may have told your early relationship issues to. You think that if you don’t say anything anymore than they won’t know what’s going on. You continue to try all that you can to be the perfect partner, girlfriend, lover, boyfriend, husband or wife, but still fall short. You notice that your relationship is one that people don’t ask you about anymore, want to be around, or support out loud.

1. Excessive fighting
2. Belittling comments
3. Judgmental criticism
4. Underhanded statements about people you love.

Alienation

Over time you continue to become more entrenched in your toxic relationship. You may begin to notice that people who you once turned to are not returning your calls, not available to meet for drinks, or have disappeared completely. You wonder what has been happening or if it was something you did or said? Another stage of a toxic relationship becomes alienation. The negativity and drama that surrounds your relationship, and your life with this new person, has started to push people who love you away. Maybe they have tried to point things out about your relationship that has seemed abusive, unhealthy, or detrimental to your mental health. They may have made valid points but you ignore the advice. You see potential, hope, and a future within the toxic relationship. You are sure things will change. As people in your life begin to distance themselves from you, you begin to cling closer to the relationship.

1. Spending less time with close friends or family
2. Making personal decisions based on what’s best for your relationship
3. Keeping secrets about your relationship issues from people you used to trust
4. Making excuses for your partners transgressions.
5. Sheltering your time and relationship from the world.

Due to the avoidance that you have felt from others and demonstrate yourself, you realize that without the toxic relationship you would have nothing. You imagine that since people have disappeared you will be alone if you break up. You stay trapped in the cycle of the toxicity and you believe that without it, you would be lost. You have spent so much time investing, lost so much along the way, and given up other opportunities. You have developed a dependency on the relationship and the things that keep you in the toxic cycle.

1. Feeling hopeless about your future.
2. Seeing no point in maintaining friendships outside the relationship.
3. Thinking you are the problem, you must change, and that you can fix everything.