Top 10 Signs Of Unhealthy Boundaries
Orlando Counselor Weighs In
Deciding to invest in yourself and speak to a counselor in Orlando for the first time might be the key to unlocking reasons why you are struggling in your life. Relationship issues, career problems, friendships that don’t feel supportive, family issues that you can’t resolve, or any other reasons can be motivation to seek professional help. A counselor in Orlando will offer you objective feedback and help explore areas of your life that you are dissatisfied in. Client’s often find that after speaking to a counselor for the first time, they develop insight into themselves and their lives that they didn’t have before.
A therapist or counselor comes from a client-centered perspective. This means that the main goal of therapy is to help you, the client. Confidentiality and respect for your feelings are extremely important. Sometimes an Orlando counselor will suggest that you make changes, redefine boundaries in your personal life, or discuss areas in your personal relationships that might be unhealthy. Unhealthy boundaries can be signs that you struggle with your self-worth, self-esteem, or your identity. Here are some signs that you might be struggling with healthy boundary setting:
Top 10 Unhealthy Boundaries
Orlando Counselor Shares
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You aren’t honest with others when you feel you’re not being treated right.
As a counselor in Orlando, all too often I see clients in therapy that do not feel like they have a voice. For any number of reasons, they do not feel like they can stand up for themselves, or they fear doing so will push people away or make them seem rude. My first role as a therapist is to empower you to find and use your voice if it will be helpful in your life.
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Letting other people define you or give your life meaning.
If you allow your identity to be defined by those around you, then you are not living an authentic life. You are also allowing other people to tell you how you “should” be. The only expert on you, is you. Therapy with a counselor in Orlando will help you reclaim your identity and still manage the relationships with those you love.
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Saying “no” makes you feel guilty or like you letting people down.
As an Orlando therapist I see this a lot. Especially with “people-pleasers.” It can be hard to say no to people you care about. Just try to remember that saying no doesn’t mean you are being mean or selfish. It means that you are valuing yourself and making sure that you have enough left over for you after you have helped people you care for.
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Trying to please everyone around you just so you can feel needed.
If feeling needed makes you feel full, it might be time to examine why. When you allow your role’s (mother, wife, friend, husband, etc), in life to define you, then you lose sight of who you are. You have a right to be something outside of these roles and to embrace that part of you.
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Accepting things even when you don’t want them.
Do you have a hard time turning down offers, gifts, invitations, or requests? This falls in line with the previous unhealthy boundary. If you have trouble turning down things or taking things when you don’t need, want, or like them, you could end up feeling overburdened or resentful. Life is about balance and in Orlando therapy, exploring ways to keep that balance is very important for better quality of life.
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Being unable to handle something just so someone can take care of it for you.
On a subconscious level, many times people with unhealthy boundaries will “fall apart” just so other’s can help put things back together. It can feel good when you get attention, help, or are noticed, but the reality is that you are a capable, independent human being. Allowing yourself to fall into “victim” mode just to get your emotional needs met is a bad habit to get into.
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Falling quickly for someone you don’t know well, or who has reconnected with you.
Facebook, online dating apps, and social media is a great example of how this unhealthy boundary plays out all too often. It takes time to build a relationship, to court someone, and to build the foundation for love. If you find that you fall in love quickly with people you just meet, or someone from your past that reached out to from social media, you might have trouble with boundaries. The false sense of immediate connection that someone can feel when they exchange texts or messages over a period of time does not equate to truly getting to know a person.
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Crossing someone’s physical boundaries without permission.
If you find yourself being pushy with your affection onto others, or in situations where others are pushy onto you, ask yourself what is going on. As an Orlando counselor, I often have to screen for trauma and being physically or sexually violated by someone or violating someone else can leave permanent emotional damage.
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Letting someone touch you or have sex with you even if you don’t want to.
You should never allow someone to touch you or have sex with you if you do not want them to. This may seem like an obvious boundary that wouldn’t be crossed, but all too often, I from clients who struggle with this one. The reasons why you might be struggling with maintaining this boundary should be explored in counseling Orlando. Maybe it’s a need to feel loved, or not being able to say “no,” or you feel like you have an obligation to do something with someone.
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Doing what someone else wants even if it’s against your values, ethics, or your moral compass.
The bottom line to it all is that you should never do things that go against your values, morals, and ethical standards for someone else. If you find yourself being compromised and continually doing things for others, maybe it is time to reach out to a professional counselor Orlando that can help you sort out what’s really going on. You deserve to have healthy, enriching relationships that make you a better version of yourself.
Orlando Counseling Helps
Healthy Boundaries Matter
When you establish healthy boundaries with people in your life, you enrich the quality of your relationships. You teach people how to treat you and you let them know that you matter. Here are some reasons learning how to make sure you use healthy boundaries matter:
- Boost your self-worth, self-concept, and confidence.
- Your communication with other people is genuine, authentic and lets people know who you really are.
- Your relationships are deeper, more meaningful and honest.
- You will gain more control in your life and feel more grounded.
- You will be more in touch with reality and what truly matters.
If you or someone you know struggles with maintaining healthy boundaries or with toxic relationships, have them give Orlando Thrive Therapy a call today. Talking to a counselor in Orlando is confidential and will offer a new perspective on how to do things differently for better results.
