In the healthiest marriages, couples make many more positive statements about their relationship than negative ones when discussing issues or conflicts. Encouraging one another and focusing on the positive attributes of your union will help you overcome difficulties and challenges more easily. Try spending twenty minutes or so daily sharing the things you love about your relationship with one another. Reminding yourselves about the positive aspects of your union will help the negative issues seem much less overwhelming.

Studies show that healthy heterosexual marriages are relationships where husbands accept influence from their wives. This is critical because women are already pre-conditioned and well-practiced at assuming a man's persuasion. For a marriage to be well-balanced and loving, a man must be willing to allow his wife to influence him too. For example, a wife may say to her husband, “Do you have to work Wednesday night? There is a parent-teacher conference at school, and I am in the middle of a project at work that makes it difficult for me to get away." The man who says, “Sorry! It is poker night with the boys. You will have to find a way to make it work,” is likely in a troubled marriage. On the other hand, a man who says, "Wednesday night is poker night, but I will let the guys know I might be late, so you don't have to worry about your work project" is fostering an equal partnership in his marriage. When both partners are committed to doing what is best for the family and the marriage, they will find a way to make things work.